Hello.

so my hols start yesterday 10.30am on the dot. :)

i went out with frens for some retail therapy. :))
i had some talk with one of my close fren. :)
and i even went to the so called "memories" place before i went home. ;p
i don't feel anything. i even played all of "OUR" songs.
and i don't feel anything at all except a lil bit of anger which i don't know why. heh.

i took the usual bus.. the one we used to take to send me home.
i even sat at the same spot we always sit.
and i felt "nothing".
totally blank.
i wanna cry but i won't let myself cry anymore.

i reach home. i took the letters, the song lyrics, the journal.. everything that will remind me of you.. and throw it all.. and i never regret doing it! :)

u people can say whatever you want...

i am stupid.
i am a fool.
i am an idiot.

Happy now?

and yes i have to admit i lost trust to "your kind".
i've even build up a wall to not fall again.
i've even make myself promise to hate "your kind" soo much.
and you said i've been playing around with "your kind".
your friend, friend of your friend or whoever it is.
which i am not!

im a human being too i got a heart.
i never said i am an angel, there's an evil part of me too but i am not as cruel as you.
yes you! you should know who you are. this goes to your bestie, ur cuzzie, ur bandmates or whoever it is.

stubborn? oh yes i am. you made me be like this.
you made me hates "your kind". ( yes i USED to hate them )
you made me scared to even think of having another relationship. (Hell yeah!)
am i blaming you?
well not everythng but in a way yes i want to.
can i?

ask me what i need right now...

i need someone else by my side...
i need someone else who can tolerate with my weird life...
i need someone else to talk whatever crap i want to...
i need someone else to comfort me when im down...
i need someone else to make me smile...
i need someone else to misses me...
i need someone else to teach me how to accept "your kind" back in my heart...

basically i need someone else but not YOU!

and i shall blog again soon.. coz i think i just type lotsa craps!
totally nonsense. HEH!

Bye!

-Feena-