slacking at home as usual..
shookz i can't wait for the result.. but then im afraid of da result? mepek kan?

hey i can use my mouse now.. it's ok..
still din't knw wth happened to it last time.. pms maybe.. haha mouse having pms or what?

kk crap i got nothing to do..
bro got a job.. hey that's good.. good luck on ur new job ok?
mosha at home.. it's her off day today~
cha went out for study group.
hmm fiqa's back from sch while im typing.. haha
the other 2 still at sch i guess..

shheeezz i hv not started studying my POA..
just read here and there.. wakakaz..
come on fina u can do it.. [aper jer!]
yah and so the haze keep coming on and off.. k crap..
im still in Genting then..
everytime i look out from moi balcony.. i can't see the other side of woodlands [farah's house] ehehe..




wokiez.. last sunday i followed my mosha,grandnenek,cik izal to visit moi dearest arwah kak sofiah,tok ahmad and cik Lin.. oh ya sarah came too..

was my usual self at first.. but then..




first stop.. cik Lin's home~ didn't felt anything.. juz miss her lots..
she died when i was 5.. aaahhhh i miss her u knw.. im her fave and she's ma fave aunt~ you always gave me chocolates and sweet stuff coz u knw i like it very much and you always bring me to ur "tarian" training.. i remembered.. always!! I LOVE YOU!

next.. Tok Ahmad..



standing infront of his grave.. made me realize how i miss him.. almost cried.. dun wanna show mosha that i cried.. keep it to myself.. aaahh if only u knw i was crying inside.. "Tok! i will never forget u.. ur fave fruit!! starfruit!! well it's my fave now!! did u knw that? you love photography and so do i.. ooohh that's where i got it then.. from you.. and yes i still remembered ur black and white tv with the mic.. the day me and bro came to ur house u gave us the mic.. asked us to sing whatever we want.. bro starts singing and i tag along.. oooohhh i miss those days..
and how old am i at that time? 3 yrs old.. 2 yrs before u leave us.."
i miss you i really do miss you! I LOVE YOU!

both Tok and Cik Lin died on the same yr..
i was so confused back then.. didn't knw much about dying etc..
maybe i was too young to knw whats dying are..
the only thought i had was.. "oh cik lin and tok will be sleeping forever, but can i wake them up whenever i want?" i got the answer when im older and understand more bout life and death.. so the answer was forever "NO" then..

Last but not least... Kak Sofiah..



when u leave us..
i was shocked, angry, confused all in one..
i didn't cry when i reach grandnenek house..
still don't wanna believe it..
that night~ ur mum sleep in da same room with me..
she can't sleep and so do i..
she talked bout you..
when she asked me to pray for you..
she told me that we can't be with you anymore..
at that moment.. i took the pillow and put it on my face.. for i can shed all my tears on it.. never to let anyone knw that i really do miss you!!
u tought me lotsa stuff.. good and bad.. i appreciated it very much!
u r like a big sister to me.. coz i dun hv one..
last i met you was at woodlands mrt.. u shout my name!! u ran to me and said you miss me.. hug me like u always did.. and then u said.. u gonna miss me and will i miss u or not.. and i joke saying "miss you? nah~ coz u never go my house anymore!" oh God! if only.. i knew you gonna leave me in just a few days? kak piah![that's what i used to call u..] u really leave us.. and you choose a good date for it too.. (",)
9 august..
i miss you and I LOVE YOU!

YEEEPZZ.. I ALWAYS LOVE THESE 3 FOREVER!

Hope all of you like da flowers... grandnenek choose it btw.. (",)

well enough with my emo-ing.. ;p
everyone tend to joke at each grave.. but i knw deep inside they were crying like urs truly~ ehehe..
geezz.. this post gonna be damn emo ok.. ahaha..
will stop now.. wanna updtae more but then later aight? ;p